I donned my lucky Chucks and took my perpetually single self to the Bell House Wednesday night for the first BK Meatup, not entirely sure how the skeptical hounds of the borough would respond to a singles-themed event, and having never attended a blog event before, and therefore justifiably scared of what terrors the real-world manifestations of blog commentators would portend. Early ticket sales were strong so I figured at least a few people would come through and mingle, if for nothing else than the cheap beer. Worst case, it would be a blog summit for us poverty addled kids at Brokelyn, the potty-mouthed playas at Fucked in Park Slope and the informative borough culture gurus at Brooklyn Based
I was also mentally preparing myself to have to volunteer for the male wet T shirt contest, under the assumption that dudes at the event would be too shy to climb on stage and have water dumped all over them like so much organic, free-range beef.
Turns out, my skepticism was stupid wrong on all counts.
Something like 500 people came (sell out whutt) and the ‘house was packed wall to wall with hormone-brimming singles trying to get theirs on a lonely Wednesday night. There was making out, lots of numbers being swapped and lots of positive echoes on the interwebs afterward. And the wet T shirt contest was crazy popular, with more dudes lining up than there were even shirts available.
I know — you missed it, and you’re suddenly insanely jealous, wishing there were some way you could see all the magic of blog-powered courtship for yourself. Have no fear:
Lessons from the BK Meatup:
1. Blog readers (at least for this blogfecta of sponsors) are actually quite an attractive, fun bunch on the whole. It will probably be a different story when we hold the Troll Meatup, however.
2. In a battle between Hipster Wolverine and a muscled-out Bro-cules BK girls prefer Hipster Wolverine by a landslide!
3. Also, in interviews with several girls during the T shirt contest, I asked the question: so does this actually do anything for you?
The unanimous answer: “Not at all.” But, they said, it’s a hoot to watch.
4. Displaying copious amounts of chest hair through your Italian speed suit remains an ineffective way of meeting ladies. But give this man a PBR for effort.
5. People want a gay Meatup.
6. According to my blog stats, someone is already searching the term “when is the next bk meatup.”
7. Even a booze-soaked, singles-themed event isn’t enough to prevent the passive aggressive approach of Missed Connections.
8. My favorite convo of the night, with the woman running the La Cense burger truck:
Her: Have you tried our burgers?
Me: Well, I’m a vegetarian, so no.
Her: But they’re all grass-fed beef…
Me. Yeah, I’m still a vegetarian.
9. Wearing a name tag that says “It’s my birthday” totally works.
1o. I actually am capable of meeting a cute girl. Whether she’ll call me back is another story…
Check out this sprawling 90-shot photo gallery from Metromix. Here’s your intrepid Brokelyn contributors unleashing their vibe and trying to jump start the dance floor. How could you not want to join this crew?