In tribute to Sparks, and the only person in the world I know who will care, Jeff Barnes.
Under the settlement, MillerCoors agreed to end certain marketing strategies that the attorneys general contend appealed to underage youth. It will remove content on the Sparks Web site that the attorneys general said “looks like it was created by a college freshman.” The company also will eliminate images that imply energy or power, such as the battery-themed symbols on Sparks cans.
The images didn’t imply energy; they shoved it down your goddamn throat with bleeding fist full of nails.
Sparks — For when Red Bull isn’t enough and it’s too far a drive to your meth dealer.
Best non-Jeff Barnes Sparks memory: John chugging a can of it with no hands at Mellow Mushroom trivia night on Hilton Head so we could save $5 on a $60 tab. He lost a photo finish, but it was totally worth it. He died later that night.
There’s a late night bar dare waiting for you in heaven, Sparks.