The funniest damn thing I’ve seen all week:
warning: here be explicit lyrics, Tipper
It’s been around for awhile, but thanks to Joe Dairy for the introduction.
Oh, and for old-time’s sake,
This Week in Great Trivia Team Names
Re-Reading Kavalier and Clay Edition
Apparently Permanent Pubertal Smudge
The Invisible Hand of Eleanor Roosevelt
They Were Childen, We Were Wolves
Ok, so I haven’t actually gone to a trivia night since moving to NY, but it’s not like I should be using my brain for other things like, you know, looking for a job or something.
Enter This Boy Soul*
Shellfish is an Obamanation
That Baby is a Dick
What Will Movies Spin for Dramatic Points Once Newspapers Die?
Just What In the Hell, Illinois?
Bill Murray Washed My Dishes
Brown Bagging is the New Cosmopolitan
Give Us Our New Bike Already
Hobo Fire Building 101
The Great Depression: Now in Color!
And, one of the best I’ve heard in a long time, from team Hilton Head in my absentia:
One and a Half Thumbs Up
*Say it quickly now
• Hot Dog Sticks
• Submerged Groin*
• Easy Jesus Keeps Us Warm*
• Teary-Eyed Handjob
• Save a Gumball. Buy Bluffton Today
• Fluff: Now 25 Cents a Serving
• Tsopping Whet Phanatics
• Jeremy Hsieh’s Dead Deer Stew
• The Angry Arby’s Employee Revenge
• Has Anyone Seen My B-Shaped Branding Iron?
• Communist Mani-pesto
• I’ll Redistribute Your Barack-O-Lantern All Over This Sidewalk
* Used in competition
• A Really Cool Potamus
• Large Hard-on Collider*
• EXPLICIT BARACK
• I Went To Four Fewer Colleges Than Sarah Palin
• Do You Know How Many Times I’ve Had to Look Up How to Spell ‘Lynyrd Skynyrd’ In the Past Week?
• Hank Paulson’s Deal or No Deal Suitcase
• The Cleveland Browns Won’t Give Me the Finger
• Clarence was a Dapper Sight Astride his Four-Legged Friend+
• Nature: 2; Stuck Up Bitch: Zero
*Used in competition and rewarded with free beers
+ Won’t make any sense if I explain it either
-Sarah Palin’s Aborted VP Run*
-Hootie Never Burned Us Like This
-If We Don’t Get 38 Special In The Next Few Weeks, Someone’s Getting Shot In The Face
-Hanna and the Hurricanes*
-Mother. Moose Hunter. Maverick.
-Jim Cantore: Portent of Death
-The Death of Jonathan and Birth of J. Edward
-Your Mom’s got the Whitest Teeth … (too offensive to publish here)**
-Jim Faber’s Abandoned Box of His Childhood
*Used in actual competition.
**Name rewarded with free beers
• The Infinitely Repeating Airport Egg Salad Sandwich
• Steve Blust’s Empty Fanny Pack of Dreams*
• OMG: Barack Nvr Txted Me
• Is There Anything Funny About the Situation in Georgia?*
• Joe Biden and the T-t-t-t-train to Victory
• The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit*
• I Buy All My Clothes from a Traveling Salesman
* Used in actual competition
-Sometimes Love Is Large and Bearded
-Adam Carroll’s Bad-Ass Quilt
-Failed Olympic Ladder Ball Athletes
-Isaac Hayes Finally Got the Shaft
-For the Love of God, Someone Protect Samuel L. Jackson
-Not for Adult Use, and Other Warnings that Go Unheeded When 90 Beers are Involved
-Jeff Tweedy’s Mangled Face on a T Shirt