Ok, so I haven’t actually gone to a trivia night since moving to NY, but it’s not like I should be using my brain for other things like, you know, looking for a job or something.
Kafka’s Proctologist Enter This Boy Soul* Shellfish is an Obamanation That Baby is a Dick Liquid Meat What Will Movies Spin for Dramatic Points Once Newspapers Die? Tryptofurky Just What In the Hell, Illinois? Bill Murray Washed My Dishes Brown Bagging is the New Cosmopolitan Give Us Our New Bike Already Hobo Fire Building 101 The Great Depression: Now in Color!
And, one of the best I’ve heard in a long time, from team Hilton Head in my absentia: One and a Half Thumbs Up
• A Really Cool Potamus • Large Hard-on Collider* • EXPLICIT BARACK • I Went To Four Fewer Colleges Than Sarah Palin • Do You Know How Many Times I’ve Had to Look Up How to Spell ‘Lynyrd Skynyrd’ In the Past Week? • Hank Paulson’s Deal or No Deal Suitcase • The Cleveland Browns Won’t Give Me the Finger • Clarence was a Dapper Sight Astride his Four-Legged Friend+ • Nature: 2; Stuck Up Bitch: Zero
*Used in competition and rewarded with free beers + Won’t make any sense if I explain it either
-Sarah Palin’s Aborted VP Run* -Hootie Never Burned Us Like This -If We Don’t Get 38 Special In The Next Few Weeks, Someone’s Getting Shot In The Face -Hanna and the Hurricanes* -Mother. Moose Hunter. Maverick. -Jim Cantore: Portent of Death -The Death of Jonathan and Birth of J. Edward -We Guessed* -Your Mom’s got the Whitest Teeth … (too offensive to publish here)** -Jim Faber’s Abandoned Box of His Childhood
*Used in actual competition. **Name rewarded with free beers
• The Infinitely Repeating Airport Egg Salad Sandwich • Steve Blust’s Empty Fanny Pack of Dreams* • OMG: Barack Nvr Txted Me • Is There Anything Funny About the Situation in Georgia?* • Joe Biden and the T-t-t-t-train to Victory • Smullet • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit* • I Buy All My Clothes from a Traveling Salesman
-Sometimes Love Is Large and Bearded -Adam Carroll’s Bad-Ass Quilt –Snot Rice -Failed Olympic Ladder Ball Athletes -Isaac Hayes Finally Got the Shaft -For the Love of God, Someone Protect Samuel L. Jackson -Not for Adult Use, and Other Warnings that Go Unheeded When 90 Beers are Involved -Jeff Tweedy’s Mangled Face on a T Shirt -Assginity