Tag Archives: nintendo

Sega, I got some news for you

Thank you chiptune, and thank you the Daily What:

8-bit version of Cee-Lo’s Feck You*, as told from the perspective of a jilted NES system

Oh sh*t you play Street Fighter?
(well)
better get your moves tighter

*Not the actual title

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Is RoBernstein the future of journalism? Input!

Declining advertising revenue, slow adoption of new technologies and fealty to a crumbling old model of news distribution were already doing a number on the psyche of the average news reporter. But this one is a

RoBernstein. Not pictured: Wood3PO

pretty low blow. Scientists in Tokyo, who apparently have nothing better to do than jabbing a salt-covered pencil into the eyes of journalists worldwide, like say oh, I don’t know, creating a viable renewable energy infrastructure or attacking the moon or building more of these things that will take on the responsibility of driving your drunk ass home or limiting the number of emails I get with the word ‘fuckstick’ in the subject line, have created a journalist robot that can gather and publish basic information. More from SingularityHub:

Researchers at the Intelligent Systems Informatics Lab (ISI) at Tokyo University have developed a journalist robot that can autonomously explore its environment and report what it finds. The robot detects changes in its surroundings, decides if they are relevant, and then takes pictures with its on board camera. It can query nearby people for information, and it uses internet searches to further round out its understanding. If something appears newsworthy, the robot will even write a short article and publish it to the web.

Hat tip to Alyssa, via KnightBlog

OK, so this article is a bit vague here, and does not provide any examples of work the RoBernstein has produced (“5-8 bit clips minimum; applicant robots should also include a cover letter and several reference programs”) or any information on how it would possibly be used, so I’m not entirely buying the game-changing tone of the article just yet. It’s unclear what counts as “changes in its surroundings,” how it considers these changes relevant, how it chooses which photos to take, what sort of questions it asks bystanders and how it processes the answers. The post’s author hypothesizes the robots could be used in battle zones too dangerous for human reporters to enter. Continue reading

Trailer for Wii Punch Out! will smash your face

In case you haven’t seen it yet, a must watch thing for you to watch is this commercial for the Wii version of Punch Out! It’s a deliciously self-aware anticipation for what would have to try exceedingly hard to not be a very enjoyable game:

It’s like one of those vids people on College Humor made for years, except actually sanctioned by Nintendo. The full band version of the theme song makes my heart rise too. Also, you’ll notice no twin towers in the NY skyline when he’s running. More motivation for punching on foreigners of muddled ethnicities, I’m guessing.

But three words would make this game a stunning, face-smashing success, genre-crashing, attention-grabbing success:

Unlockable.

Mike.

Tyson.

The dude is already having  a weird but welcome resurgence right now, and the timing is perfect. With the Tyson documentary full of a surprisingly thoughtful introspection on a long and difficult career (not to mention fantastic one-liners and repeated use of the word “skulduggery”) , a corresponding Nas song and a scene-stealing appearance in the trailer for The Morning After, the world is ready for post-boxing Tyson to reenter our lives.

People forget that in the 80s, Mike Tyson was  a force. He wasn’t an athlete, he was a mascot for raw, American power. He was in that rarefied arena of people who captured a lot of our hopes and aspirations for the country, even if they were brutal at times. Like Hulk Hogan, Michael Jackson, Steven Spielberg, Michael Jordan, Tom Hanks, people who were the best we had to offer up for one specific purpose, ones who would capture an almost supernatural air of dominance when they set about their tasks.

Back in the cold war 80s, that meant a lot to see Mike out there beating his way to the top with sheer unstoppable force. At least, I think it did. I was 8.

did joining the Nintendo Fun Club cause this?

did joining the Nintendo Fun Club cause this?

Actually, the trailer for this game is very similar to the Tyson movie in some ways as he re-examines his career. And Mac got KO’d by King Hippo after beating Mr. Sandman and all the rest? That sounds a little like someone’s Buster Douglass moment.

Friday Happy: Go and brush your controllers off

Double shot of happy today, because I know a lot of people who could use a lot of happy this week.

First happy! Go on, brush your controllers off. Get… that .. dirt out yo cartridge….

Further proof that the main pursuit of my life between ages 8-18 will be fodder for pop culture fertility for generations to come:

8 Bit remix medley

Tracklist, if you’re not on point with the songs already:

Jay-Z — Dirt Off Your Shoulders
T.I — What You Know
Chamillionaire — Ridin’
Ludacris — What’s Ya Fantasy
Bonecrusher — Neva Scared
Kanye — Overnight Celebrity
Ludacris — Move Bitch
Lil’ Jon — Get Low
Kanye — Gold Digger

Still trying to figure out who created this, but shout out to Shot Then, where I first found it.

After listening to this, I went running out the door and beat the shit out of some Generic Dudes Gang members before setting fire to a series of bushes looking for a square staircase.Then I immediately started triangulating the location of my NES so I can get back on the job of virus elimination in the new universal Dr. Mario healthcare system.

Side list: Courses That Need to Be Added to College Curriculi Immediately–

1) Why Blowing In A NES Cartridge Works. Seriously, why does it work? Why has no one done a study on this yet? Don’t tell me there’s that much dirt in that cartridge that you need gale-force winds just to even see a blinking tittle screen. That’s a bigger load of lies than The Wizard demonstrating how the Power Glove worked. I’m sorry, but our answer is in another castle.

I once was at a party where a group of very young girls were clearly lying about their age in order to not get thrown out. The test? They were forced to jump start a Super Mario Bros. cartridge. They failed. They did not grow up in the 80s. They left.

2) Rules and Regulations of Beer Dodgeball (NES)

Pete Early and I created this game on a very fateful week in summer 05, and roommate John (whose mugshot I may post here momentarily) and I perfected it over the following months. I once posted the rules on Gamestop forums for the game, but they were deleted, probably because my drinking-related entry stood out as the only entry for all time for the game, and it wouldn’t be very socially responsible of them to let it stand.

Very brief primer on what you need to know to play BDB, aka the best

ethnic stereotypes killed by school children

ethnic stereotypes killed by school children

drinking game since beer pong: drink half of whatever damage your player takes, plus five if he goes around the screen or rolls. And no one can ever, ever ever be the USSR. It’s just not fair. Also, Southpaw is the official beer of BDB. And if you drink it, you will regress to a blinking, 8-bit version of your life.

Second happy!A Muppet and a Fat Guy

The depths of winter depression about the newspaper industry stand no chance against this: Elmo and Ricky Gervais outtakes.

GET OFF ELMO! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH ELMO!

Ricky Gervais, of course the brilliant mind behind the original (and so much smarter and funnier, as I’m sure even diehard fans of Jim and Pam would agree by now) version of The Office. And Elmo, finally gaining street cred after so many years living as the over-promoted Sesame Street version of The Killers while so many other talented Muppets were relegated to obscure indie blogs.

Big nod to roommate Charlie, aka King Meme, for the tip on this one.