Tag Archives: rejection

The best time I got rejected from The Awl

Dec 23, 2011, 9:22am:
>For your consideration. Thanks!

Td

[STUPID PIECE WENT HERE AND HERE AND HERE]

Dec 23, 2011 at 9:33 AM, Choire Sicha wrote:
>TIM.

You are so wrong in the head!

Dec 23, 2011 at 9:36 AM, Tim Donnelly wrote:
> sometimes I just have to amuse myself.

Dec 23, 2011 at 9:39 AM, Choire Sicha wrote:
>SICK MONSTER!!!

Dec 23, 2011 at 10:12 AM, Tim Donnelly wrote:
> this is still exponentially nicer than most pitch responses I get*
.
On Fri, Dec 23, 2011 at 10:16 AM, Choire Sicha wrote:
>haha, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
.
(*this is so true).
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Rejected McSweeney’s: Open letter to some mice editon

An Open Letter to the Mice in our Apartment Who Consistently Ignore My Humane Trap in Favor of the Rat Zapper

Dear Mice,

I tried. Believe me I did, because I’m on your side. I was the lone voice in the apartment who rose up and cried out in angry protest the day the otherroommates announced we would bring a Rat Zapper into the apartment. Brittany had had too much, seen too many furry horrors running across the kitchen floor or lurking outside the bedroom.

It was I, fair rodent, who raised the fist of objection, who climbed the animal welfare soapbox and offered to pony up the price for the humane trap, the one with the pleasant tiny ramps that lure you in with ease into a comfortable rodent waiting room until, yes, the relocation doctor will see you know, and I will be happy to move you out to a nice verdant life in the wilderness of Fort Greene Park.

The compromise reached in the apartment was that the humane trap, would be placed in direct competition with the Rat Zapper, with its cruel voltage mechanical humming of fatality, to see which was more effective in this Brooklyn apartment.

I tried, believe me, Mice, I tried.

I positioned the Humane Trap directly next to the Death Trap, with hopes its two small entry ways would catch your tiny eyes more than the one, long, gaping maw of the Deathoplex.

Continue reading

fail.

Is it optimistic or depressing when you’re at the point when you’re elated just to hear an echo of a response back from the other end of the void?

Dear Tim,

Thank you for applying for the xxx summer internship. We chose another candidate whose qualifications were a bit more in line with what we were looking for this year, but you should know that we received dozens of applications, and yours was one of the strongest.

We really appreciate your interest, and I hope you continue to read xxx. Best of luck with everything, and have a great summer.

Yours,
Editor Guy