Do you remember this?
It’s the circa 1990 Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, and it shared the honor of Battle of the Network Stars and 9/11 of being simulcast on all the major networks.
I had a hockey-stick-to-the-face blast of nostalgia when I stumbled across this today. I have a very specific memory of sitting on the stained gray carpet (“I told you to keep your food out of the living room!”) on Cable Avenue woah those many years ago watching this on the bulky ginormous television set that was probably someone’s vision in 1985 of what household appliances would look like in the 21st century. Apparently no one had the foresight to envision that televisions might actually get flatter, and less silvery.
For a little kid whose life rotates around the Saturday morning cartoon schedule, seeing all your favorite characters on one 27-minute spectacular special is like walking into your bedroom and finding all the Transformers and Voltron characters installing a moonbounce where your bed used to be.
Not since Who Framed Roger Rabbit? had such little mind-bending fantasy world amalgamation been accomplished. When you’re a kid, you like to think that all the TV characters are friends (um, at least I did). The cartoon-all stars proved it, and proved that
they’re all fairly pedantic conservatives.
The cast included, according to Wikipedia:
* ALF: The Animated Series: ALF
* Alvin and the Chipmunks: Alvin, Simon, Theodore
* DuckTales: Huey, Dewey, and Louie
* The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Winnie-the-Pooh, Tigger
* Jim Henson’s Muppet Babies: Baby Kermit, Baby Piggy, Baby Gonzo
* The Smurfs: Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf, Hefty Smurf
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Michelangelo
* Garfield and Friends: Garfield The Cat
* The Real Ghostbusters: Slimer
* Looney Tunes: Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck
Thanks to shows like this, and the very special episode of Saved By the Bell where we learned caffeine pills are the No. 1 killer of students in California, the nation’s drug problem immediately ceased and was never heard from again. I wonder if cartoons today would endeavor to do something similar now, but tackle something like meth or jenkem that is actually threatening today’s youth. Never mind the fact that shows like SpongeBob and My Gym Partner’s a Monkey were clearly created by people who’ve never not been high.
SPONGEBOB: Hey! Let’s do something silly!
KID: Get the eff away from me before I jab this homemade meth lab in your eyes.
JIMMY NEUTRON: UR doing it wrong.