Raiders of the Master System

This museum-worthy piece of art, titled “Nobody Wants to Play Sega With Harrison Ford,” comes from Brandon Bird, the artist responsible for such modern masterpieces as “Lazy Sunday Afternoon” depicting Christopher Walken tinkering in the workshop on what appears to be a prototype of Optimus Prime; and “King of the Cage” demonstrating Lincoln’s true strengths used in keeping the Union together.


There is, I think, a deeper truth spoken through this work in light of the release of the wholly unnecessary fourth Indiana Jones movie, the one filled with the grumpy, tired old man who resembles the Harrison Ford of old. Nintendo, you see, was always the company that stuck with the beloved and tested pillars of video gaming that translated into success from Donkey Kong to Wii Fit. Fun, reliable play that was good to return to over and over again. Sega was the company that tried to come in and shake things out a bit, add fancy new devices and trendy gimmicks that tried to capture the diversions of the day. You abandon that sense of wonderment and fun that Nintendo clung to and it will only get you so far.
So it went for the latest Indy movie, somewhere between the CGI gophers and the travelogues through the part of the Earth where physics cease to exist and spills down several gigantic waterfalls don’t result in any damages to person, vehicle or momentum. Really people would have been happy to be back to basics all along.

Then again, if Harrison Ford walked up to me and asked me to play Altered Beast with him, you bet your ass I’d werewolf down in a second.

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