The Internets Have Spies in This Watermelon

After the interview with aforementioned watermelon-smashing comedian yesterday (which went phenomenally. See below.), I got a call from his publicist. She said, “Hey, I wanted to ask you something. I found this on the internet yesterday…” Then she proceeded to read the entirety of the previous blog post back to me, putting particular emphasis on the part where I copy and pasted her e-mail into the blog.
“Is this you? There’s no name on it.”

Uh-oh. I came clean and said that indeed that rambling belonged to me. Then I hemmed and hawed for a minute, blubbering something about it being a “private blog” that’s not really public (which is the definition of “private” of course. College!) They have one of those internet scrubber services that finds any mention of Mr. SmashPants (I’m not using his name so I don’t get fingered again). I quickly changed the subject to ask to get on the guest list for the show. This is why I love moonlighting as an entertainment journalist: it’s a vacation from the rigid (and warranted) ethics of the newsdesk, where I’ve turned down everything from lunches to cake to free comedy passes to skybox access to five free Chipotle burritos (I almost cracked on that one. Would five burritos have been worth my journalistic soul? That depends on whether they were out of guacomole).

Anyway, the interivew with Gallacres was tremendous. We spent the first 10 minutes talking about nothing that had anything to do with comedy, watermelons, Hilton Head or the 1980s. Did you know that subatomic particles can be an alternate energy source? Neither did I. But I know someone who does. And he wants you to know all about it.

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