Best conversation I had all day

Actual text of the chat I had with Bank of America through the suspiciously named “LiveChat by LivePerson” program.

Valerie: Hello. Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer. My name is Valerie. How may I assist you with your personal banking needs today?
You: Hi – I just passed my second anniversary with Keep the Change and haven’t seen my annual match show up in my account yet. It was deposited by this time last year.
Valerie: I will certainly assist you in this regard.
You: ok thanks
Valerie: I understand your concern regarding the promotional match of Keep The Change Service.
Valerie: You will receive the promotional incentive, after eight weeks of the Anniversary.
You: do you know what that date will be?
Valerie: I kindly request you to wait for one more month as the exact date can differ.
You: bah – the deposit appeared in November last year. Why is it so different this year?
Valerie: after the second anniversary on 11/13/08, you will receive the incentive within eight weeks.
You: all right all right
You: thanks for your help
You: are you a real person or a program?
You: my guess is program
Valerie: Yes.
Valerie: I am a human, Bank of America associate.
You: where are you located?
Valerie: I am a Bank of America associate located in India.
Valerie: Do you have any other queries regarding your personal checking and savings accounts?
You: sorry to hear about all that stuff in Mumbai
Valerie: I too feel bad for this.
Valerie: Thank you for your kind response on the incident in Mumbai.
You: you have been very helpful. usually when I call the hotline, I get some rude American person
Valerie: Timothy, That’s really kind of you. Pleasure was all mine in assisting a valued customer like you.
You: I’m sorry I called you a computer program
Valerie: Happy Holidays for you and your Family!!! Happy Christmas to you.
Valerie: No problem. That’s okay.
You: Valerie?

4 responses to “Best conversation I had all day

  1. She’s probably in Goa.

  2. Tim A. Donnelly

    yes, i had to google it.

  3. That is the best thing I have read all day.

  4. Lauren Donnelly

    I don’t know why, but this makes me kind of sad…

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