Spotted in Union Square, 10/8
Anti-Hipster Interseption Program (Anti-HIP)
The Burns Administration will put a zero-tolerance anti-hipster policy at the center of its agenda.
Charles Montgomery Burns understands that New Yorkers live under constant intimidation from this public nuisance. Hipsters threaten the cultural fabric of our great city with indiscriminate cynicism and irony. They are apathetic and use their bottomless trust funds to drive up rent for real New Yorkers.
Monty Burns says No More! With a multi-pronged approach his administration will put an end to this public menace.
Identifying hipsterism as a quality of life crime, the New York Police Department will finally have the means to protect ordinary New Yorkers from these undesirables. Only through a surge of force can we eradicate the poison of our society.
The proposed state-of-the-art Williamsburg Nuclear Power Plant is strategically planned for the epicenter of the hipster infestation and promises to eject them from this neighborhood once thought abandoned forever.
Monty Burns will change the sullied image of New York from a hipster haven to a place of law and order in order to invite outside investment, keep rents affordable for real New Yorkers and usher in a new era of stylistic accountability.
A vote for Burns will bring an end to the reign of hipsters.
Campaign ad compares CT congressman’s relationship with Pelosi to Mr. Smithers’ relationship with Burns (as in, he’s possibly gay for her?) [via Politico]