Category Archives: brooklyn

Greetings from Laptopistan

Every now and then a topic comes along that you’re just helpless but to weblog about. Particularly, in this case, as I was sitting warming myself at The Gate over a free stout dark beer (Brokelyn Beer Book coupon represent!) reading this particular story in Sunday Times Metro section, when the kindly Southern woman I was sharing a table with interrupted me (apologetically) and asked me what my thoughts were on that article, since it had been getting so much buzz online all day long.

“Well,” I said, folding the paper over to remember my place, ” It’s kind of fascinating, because I guess I’m one of these people.”

The story was the section front Sunday lede: “Destination: LAPTOPISTAN,” ostensibly an effort by the Times’ David Sax to immerse himself gonzo style in what has become a much-written about culture of youngins who have colonized coffee shops across Brooklyn, New York and America, hogging power outlets, sucking up broadband and nursing a single cup of coffee all for the sake of (as the trope goes) checking Facebook endlessly and Gchatting how the daylong outage of Tumblr stunted their output for the day without the ability to check the latest Bread Person.  It’s even led to the coining of a particular repellent term —”coffice” — it hurts just to type it — to describe the establishments that are part coffee shop, part shared work space.  Continue reading

Clip: Bottles and cans, just clap your hands

How much can you make collecting cans and bottles?

(Brokelyn, 11/2) If you’ve ever spent your working hours navigating a gray cubicle maze or strangling yourself with clothing hangars at a retail job, just about anything seems like a valid career alternative. Even, we’ll admit to daydreaming, joining those guys who pick bottles and cans out of your apartment trash every morning. Fresh air! Exercise! The thrill of the hunt! Maybe it’s a little messy, but we had to look at dead bodies at our last newspaper job, and you can’t turn corpses into nickels. Walking to work one day, the two of us wondered whether those humble trash pickers are really laughing their way back to McMansions in Jersey. So we decided to find out for ourselves.

READ THE REST because it smells like stale beer and is covered in goo. Also, we spent a lot of time on this one.


You’re now shopping with the mother&*#@ greatest

Finally, after two years since opening, Jay Z has come to Trader Joe’s Brooklyn:

Hova loves HABA (<—grocery store humor)

Continue reading

Hail! Hail!

Weather keeps happening to New York!! Who would have thought? Dave and I were at Brazen Head last night when the skies unleashed, soundtracked the entire time by the bar’s resident townies who exclaimed, loudly, that all their life they’ve never seen anything like this in Brooklyn:

why hail-o!


Hail to the streets. Notice the river flowing down Atlantic Ave.

Clearly this entire hail storm was orchestrated so that we can all remember a tragically underrated song from the Pearl Jam’s unfairly forgotten 1996 album, No Code.

“Hail Hail”

For more pics and video, check out Brooklyn365.

Super Mario: 25 years reppin’ Brooklyn

Let’s say you’re in bed a little bit longer in the morning than usual due to the previous night’s very fun but very nerve-wracking stand-before-and-audience-and-talk event. Let’s say a friend recently gave you access to her Netflix Instant password, and you just realized the wealth of nostalgic 80s cartoons on the site (Voltron … vehicle edition anyone??). Maybe you notice things you’ve never seen before. Like, apparently, the Mario Bros. lived in Dumbo?

Plumbers: the first step to gentrification

via the Super Mario Bros. Super Show starring Capt. Lou Albano.


16-bit DUMBO, via

Maybe you would have read about them in the local print media at the time:

Brooklyn Times was in the tank for the Marios

Apparently in 1989 Brooklyn Times, you could buy a front-page centerpiece display ad, which crowded out the lede story about a teacher’s union contract. Does anyone know if the cartoon counts as canon? My guess is not, seeing as I don’t remember Cyndi Lauper appearing in any game.

Anyway, I know it’s 10 days late, but happy 25th anniversary Mario! Who knew that when my mom bought you used from some local college kids for my fifth birthday that you’d implant yourself in our collective consciousness  be the most influential art form of our generation.

#Sigh. I’m going back to bed.

A List of Beers H. Jon Benjamin Drank on Stage Last Night at the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival (in ascending order)

Pilsner Urquell (tallboy)

Red Stripe (tallboy)

Amstel Light (tallboy)

* NOTE: it is not clear how many of each variety he drank, only that he was continually drinking from each can on stage, while co-host David Cross stuck mostly to Tecate (tallboy).

“I have a hangover kids. Do you know what that means?”
“You’re drunk?”
“No, it means I was drunk yesterday.”

Also, here’s a picture of Eugene Mirman in a dunk tank:

BK tornadoes nearly killed George Bailey 121 years ago

Yesterday’s maybe/maybe not tornado was hardly the first to rock the county of King’s. I’m not sure who first found these 19th century Brooklyn Eagle clips, but they were posted online from the Brooklyn Public Library:

BK Eagle June 22, 1858 full article BK Eagle, Jan 10, 1889 full article

Highlight from the 1889 story: “The varnish factory of George W. Bailey had one corner of the building blown down by the force of the gale.” George! Everything will be OK!!

And a meandering, meditative highlight  from the 1858 incident:

“From the contemplation of the harrowing spectacle, the mind turns in horror mingled with the sorrowful sympathy which goes out to the stricken sufferers from every kind heart and generous mind. Nothing more appalling has taken place in this country in recent years. It makes a shocking contribution to the list of disasters with which the new year has unhappily opened, conveys a sharp and penetrating reminder of the helplessness of man when the gigantic forces of nature are arrayed against him, and emphasizes the fact that, after all, the climatic and atmospheric conditions amid which we live grant no immunity from the dangers monopolized [I think some text is missing here] longer much comfort for the inhabitants of this Temperate Zone in reflecting upon the horrors of the simoon, the earthquaake, volcanic eruptions at Krakatoa and elsewhere and the march of pestilence beneath Southern skies. Beside and earthquake, we have had one blizzard, and now follows the tornado, bringing to our doors not only the story of death and destruction but an intimation that the scope of its deadly work is becoming broader every year.”

They don’t write em like that any more.