Tag Archives: valentine’s day

V-day for V-day averse

Putting aside the constraints of perpetual singlehood (or restless relationship syndrome, as some call it), I’ve never been much sold on the idea of Valentine’s Day: the thought that greedy, conniving forces outside your bedroom should dictate how you feel about someone and when. I’ve been glad to see this belief is now somewhat commonly held or at least spreading virally like so much Middle Eastern revolts. But there is always the threat that someone, somewhere, may just be expecting you to cave a bit to tradition and put forth some show of old-fashioned romanticism. And what of the folks who wander gingerly into relationships in the dregs of January, not sure if the pink sticky mess of mid-February is a trap waiting to spring or a puddle of too-candid emotion awaiting your false step?

Around noon at register 13 today, a young happy couple walked up, a baby in a pink cap draped over the guy’s torso and tattooed forearms.

They handed over their canvas bags and we started some friendly banter. “Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” I asked

“Spending it with you at the grocery store,” the girl responded with a smile. At least that’s someone, I joked back.

“We’ve never been much for Valentine’s Day,” she said. “We started dating at the end of January so it was weird. Sometimes all you need is the phone call and it’s OK.”

We talked for a few more on the outrageousness of the tyranny of Hallmark, how people fall into consumerist rhythms that substitute for actual emotion. Then she stopped, as if something had just come back to her, pointed to the baby hanging noiselessly from the father, and said, “In bed this morning, she kissed us both for the first time without being asked. That’s our Valentine’s Day right there.”

I smiled as they hoisted their bags over the shoulder and got ready to leave. “But we did put her in her heart shoes today,” the dad said, pointing to the little girl’s footwear. “They’re part of her regular rotation, but we picked them out specifically for today.”

They said goodbye and made their way toward the exit. On a 50-degree day in the dead of February with hearts and flowers smashed on the walls all around us, the allure of a valentine you don’t buy in stores shone through.

How I feel about Valentine’s Day

this year, and every year:

Why can't this be love?

Also, via Jacquelyn Lewis via Good, How to Avoid Roses that Support Violent Labor Abuses. Another idea: Try being more creative than tired flowers, maybe? C’mon, you can do it! Make us single people proud and earn that relationship status!

Previously: Hearts attack! The punks are eating luv songs
ValenTimes Day Happy: ‘Let’s do it AP Style’

Hearts attack! The Punks are eating luv songs

Happy snow day!

The cold brutal winds of February, the soaked sneakers trudging through brown slush, the dark edges of night pressing in from both sides like an angry vice can mean only one thing: L@VE!

Why the holiday ostensibly  meant to celebrate and honor amore is situated in the middle of the most depressing, soul-crushing part of the year, I can’t comprehend, except that it probably has something to do with the shady cabal of Hallmark and Hershey conspiring in deviousness to study the holiday-deficient stretch of the winter calendar and deciding it was prime to STRIKE, suckers. But here it comes, and there’s a bunch of stuff going on around town, which I wrote about here, including my favs:

An animal dating and mating program at Prospect Zoo, including a live-animal demo (!!); and a short-movie festival at 3rd Ward with three-minute films all featuring three things: a reference to at least one of the three wise monkeys, a celebrity death and something uncontrollable. Then there’s the un-lovey-dovey stuff, like the Rejection Show at the Bell House and the free Wake for Love and Relationship Obituary open mic at the Knitting Factory; plus the pajama-clad BK Meatup at the Bell House.

Not to say there aren’t people out there who do acts of Good on this emotionally manipulative hollerday, but it rarely resembles the inside content on your typical greeting card (remember on the Real World London where the punk guy’s GF sent him a pig’s heart stuck through with steel nails? Now that’s luv).

I particularly liked this post today from Robert Radish at the Y! Music Blog about Inappropriate Punk Rock Candy Hearts. Quote he:

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Send an SOS to the interwebs

As V-day approaches, let us take a moment to appreciate the eternal optimism of the Missed Connections section of Craigslist. The section has been around for years in one form or another, typically in alt weekly papers (the I Saw Yous in the Washington City Paper, for instance). Could love be found so easily in a city of 8 million simply by putting out the 21st century version of a message in a bottle? Some people seem to think so, and Craig bless them for it. Take for instance the following example:

Glasses & V-Neck – w4m – 21 (Williamsburg)

Reply to: pers-1031174244@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-11, 7:57PM EST

Saw you on the L train after the morning commute. You had big chunky glasses with black frames and a v-neck on. You were also listening to your ipod. I was the girl reading the book sitting next to you (you were standing) with the black hair and bangs.


Stripping away the common characteristics shared by nearly all males and females in Williamsburg, and therefore, by extension, the L train, the distinguishing parts of this ad read as following:

Saw you on the L train after the morning commute. You were a man. I was sitting next to you. I was a woman with hair.

Beware, of course, fair iPod listener, because the folks over at Die Hipster have hipster baited on Craigslist before. It almost seems too easy, and it’s kind of … genius:

Lets run through the snow today! – 27 (billyburg)

Reply to: pers-963833418@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-19, 11:12AM EST

hi I recently moved to brooklyn from Michigan and I love it here, I absolutely love it! I’m feeling in a weird mood
today and would like to run through the park naked in the snow with a cute scruffy artsy creative type guy and
then possibly cuddle up with some herbal tea, maybe some shots and listen to some vinyl. Also my friend will
have a gallery exhibit tonight weather permitting that we can go to.

Tell me about you and send a pic if you have and maybe we can make arrangements?

Love Molly

Read the responses here. They are exactly what you’re expecting.

Whatever your take on v-day is, maybe the most we can hope for out of true love these days is ambiguity and anonynimity. But at least messages in a bottle weren’t KILLING NEWSPAPERS.

BONUS link: Very Small Array created illustrations showing the most common locations of Missed Connections throughout the country. Pretty fascinating stuff, particularly to think of the time this would have taken to put together:

W4M missed connections

W4M missed connections

Holla at Wash state.  More here. Apparently, Wal-Mart is a huge unrequited love palace in large swaths of the country, a place where lots of men nervously eye lots of women, never seizing the opportunity to chat them up in between putting 42 pounds of dog chow on the checkout counter. Brooklyn’s love-lorn train riders can only sit at home and pray for the day when more Wal-Marts open nearby.