Simpler Times beer
The deal: $4.99 for a six pack of bottles, $3.99 for a six pack of cans. That’s 66.5 cents per can.
the answer to complication
What is: Lager and pilsner beer, available at Trader Joe’s. It’s a new offering at the TJ’s in NY, but apparently has been available in the stores elsewhere in the country for some time.
In simple terms, it’s the recession beer.
Ah, yes, remember those simpler times before your pension disappeared in an updraft into golden parachutes or your retirement went over the falls in a bailout. Let’s think back to the black-and-white days of the Great Depression, and remind ourselves that people get through hard times with friends, and people make friends during hard times with beer, and that beer is the simple cause of — and solution to — most of life’s problems.
Why?:Because it’s the new PBR.
Such sacrilege! But it’s true. Because at that price, and with a 6 percent alcohol content (that’s 1.8 percentage points higher than Bud Lite), it doesn’t have to be very good. But I would place the taste a step and a half above the taste of the Pabst, despite the latter’s insistence that a 116-year-old fair win is the only validation its ever needed for taste approval. Plus, it’s ludicrous speeds ahead of other discount contenders such as South Paw, Genny Lite or,yikes, Schaefer.
Plus, Simpler Times doesn’t have any pretensions pretenses attached to it yet: no sneering glances from bartenders who wonder what size girl jeans you’re wearing or how long you spent cultivating the child molester mustache like when you order a PBR; no conversations about the best methods to get the stains out of your wife beater like when you order a High Life.
Coworkers at TJ’s have been snatching it up with ravenous appetite since it first appeared a few weeks ago. This conversation about sums it up:
Me: Curtis, what did you think of that Simpler Times beer?
Curtis: It’s good enough!
It’s made by Wisconsin company Minhas Craft Brewery, which doesn’t even list Simpler Times on its web site. Minhas, you’ll surely know, is the brewer of other such wildly popular brews as Rhinelander, Mountain Creek, and — a favorite at trendy Upper West Side lounges and loft parties, Extreme Rockhead Malt Liquor.
As our country faces these rough days ahead, I think we can all agree a little dose of the Simpler Times will make everything just a bit easier to handle
13 responses so far ↓
Barry // February 4, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Why go through all that trouble when you can get a 40 oz of Hurricane Malt Liquor for $2 that actually tastes better than shitty beer and gets you drunk even if you need to stand over a sink to finish it. Brace for the Smooth Taste!
Sando // February 4, 2009 at 4:48 pm
how dare you malign a fine biere champagnois such as high life. a true fan would know we don’t bother getting the stains out.
JIM ROMENESKO // February 4, 2009 at 9:14 pm
High Life is a solid beer, and I think you meant “preconceived notions” not “pretensions.”
However you’re spot on about Genny. It’s truly atrocious. Worst beer I’ve ever tasted.
The best cheap beer out there is Old Style. Sadly it’s only available for purchase in a part of the country no one would ever want to go to: the Mid West.
Pedro // February 5, 2009 at 10:22 am
High Life is soapy. Genny is atrocious. You forgot another contender for Worst Beer Available: Black Label. Vomit.
Old Style? Nothing is good about it, aside from the fact that it’s available at Wrigley Field, and it’s Chicago’s version of trendy New York’s love affair with PBR.
Minhas’s Huber Bock and Rhinelander can be found in the Twin Cities, and I’ve partaken, mistakenly, several times — mostly when it was cheap in college.
I’d be willing to bet that the TJ’s Simpler Times beer is a Huber knock-off.
Speaking of throwbacks, did you see that Shlitz is making a push to become the new, new PBR? They’re now selling sixers in VA for $6. That swill was common in rural Minnesota when I was growing up, along with Stroh’s, and it could be found in pull-tab sixers for like $2.50.
Hsieh // February 6, 2009 at 2:54 am
I still stand by Natty Boh as the best bottom rung beer. And only $3.99 for a 6-pack of bottles in the greater Baltimore area!
Was also a fan of Grain Belt, though I didn’t spend enough time in Minneapolis to learn if it was a legitimate beer or a super-cheap beer.
invertedsoapbox // February 7, 2009 at 1:53 am
I dare to say few people have ever ventured to taste the Southpaw beer, the official beer of Beer Dodgeball for the NES. Old roommate John and I would crack a few open and pound representative ethnic stereotypes such as Big Head Asian and Dark Skinned Kenyan with an 8-bit ball until they were dead and they’re tiny elementary school souls floated up to heaven. It was an enlightened game, for sure, and we were masters at it, rollicking through a case of Southpaws along the way. Then our stomachs would realize that what we were drinking tasted like liquefied rocks from the side of a slum river and would hit the reverse button. Also, you couldn’t play beer pong with Southpaw because I think it oxidized or something when it hit the open air, turning it into a gaseous, acrid substance. Now that’s drinkability.
Warping through a TJ’s work day « Inverted Soapbox // July 2, 2009 at 3:10 pm
[...] Tapper is also the only game I know of to be endorsed by Budweiser. The Front of Line game, however, is sponsored by Simpler Times. [...]
wayne lambright // July 31, 2009 at 5:28 pm
I love this beer. This beer is yummy!
Joel // September 1, 2009 at 9:03 pm
I’ve had at least 3 of these today, and I agree…they’re yummy.
In Oakland, they’re only $3 per sixer…I guess because they’re competing with Steel Reserve 211. Now that I’ve moved from Ghost Town to Temescal, I try to keep away from the malt liquor, and this stuff is a lot tastier–if less cost-effective.
Mishka Bloglin » Blog Archive » Sporting Observations: One Last Dome Dog? // October 6, 2009 at 3:43 pm
[...] Joe’s sells its own beer – it’s four bucks for a six pack, it’s 6.2%, and it’s called “Simpler [...]
Joseph Huber // November 4, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I love these guys with all of their opinions: “this beer sucks, it’s the worst ever” etc. The fact is, there is VERY little difference between beer at certain levels, and all of the “experts” telling us what sucks and what doesnt would be able to tell one from the other in a blind test. Guaranteed. They respond to the name and the label and that is all.
Man up and drink it. When did this country become so damned picky? Our fathers would say “Beer? sure, gimme one” and not scrutizne what was on the label. Btw, Genny cream ale happens to be a very good beer, btw. Maybe a little too much flavor for those “miller lite” beer drinkers who are trying to be like everyone else.
Actual Occurrences: The punk rock island we once knew and loved « Inverted Soapbox // November 9, 2009 at 2:53 pm
[...] of veggie pasta dinner in the works, complete with Smart Sausage. And my favorite: a six pack of Simpler Times lager. Punk [...]
Captain Blatz // February 4, 2010 at 1:17 am
“Very little difference” huh? As one who joined the recession last year, I’ve re-discovered inexpensive American lagers….there certainly is a hell of a difference between them. Some are just drinkable, some are very enjoyable, some are to be avoided at all costs. Also, cheap lagers are much better for the waistline than most microbrews.